Active listening is one of the most essential skills for building meaningful relationships, whether with friends, family, colleagues, or romantic partners. It’s not just about hearing the words someone says—it's about truly understanding them, showing empathy, and making them feel valued. Unfortunately, many of us fall into patterns of distracted or half-hearted listening without even realizing it.

The good news? You can become an active listener by making small, intentional changes. These practical tips will help you incorporate active listening into your daily conversations so it becomes second nature.

1. Maintain Eye Contact

Eye contact is one of the simplest yet most powerful ways to show someone that you’re fully present. When you keep your focus on the speaker, it sends a clear message that their words matter. On the other hand, glancing at your phone or looking around the room can make them feel like they’re not a priority.

How to Put This Into Practice:

  • When someone is talking, aim to maintain natural eye contact around 60-70% of the time. You don’t need to stare—it’s okay to occasionally look away to think or avoid discomfort, but keep refocusing to show attentiveness.
  • If you’re in a group setting, shift your eye contact to whoever is speaking to make them feel included.

Think about this scenario: Your friend is telling you about a problem they had at school. Instead of scrolling on your phone or scanning the room, look them in the eyes, nod, and make small gestures, like raising your eyebrows or smiling, to show you’re engaged. This small change can make them feel seen and supported.

2. Avoid Interruptions

One of the biggest barriers to effective listening is the urge to interrupt. Whether you’re eager to share your opinion, relate a similar story, or offer advice, cutting someone off can make them feel dismissed. Active listening requires patience and the willingness to hear someone out fully before responding.

How to Put This Into Practice:

  • Resist the urge to jump in right away, even if you think you know what the speaker is going to say. Wait until they’ve finished their thought before sharing yours.
  • Practice pausing for a second or two after the person has stopped speaking. This ensures they’re truly done and gives you time to process their words.

For example, if your sibling is describing an argument they had with a friend, hold back from saying, “That’s just like the time I…” Instead, wait until they’re finished. Once they’re done, you can offer support or advice that addresses their specific situation.

3. Ask Clarifying Questions

Effective listening isn’t passive—it’s active and engaged. One way to show you’re fully present is by asking clarifying questions. These questions can help deepen your understanding and show the speaker that you care about what they’re saying.

How to Put This Into Practice:

  • If something in the conversation is unclear, politely ask for more details. For example, “What did you mean when you said…?” or “Can you tell me more about that?”
  • Avoid questions that interrupt the flow of their story. Wait for a natural pause to ask.

Imagine your coworker is venting about a group project they’re frustrated with. Instead of nodding vaguely, try saying, “What do you think could help the group work better together?” or “How do you feel about how things turned out?” Questions like these not only keep the conversation going but also show genuine interest.

4. Provide Feedback

Giving feedback is a crucial aspect of active listening. It lets the speaker know you’re not only paying attention but also processing what they’re sharing. Feedback doesn’t have to be formal—sometimes a nod, “wow,” or “I see what you mean” can make a big difference.

How to Put This Into Practice:

  • Use vocal acknowledgments like “I get it,” “That makes sense,” or “I didn’t know that.” These small phrases encourage the speaker to keep sharing.
  • Paraphrase what you’ve heard to confirm understanding. For instance, “If I understand you right, you’re feeling upset because…”
  • Be mindful of your tone—it should be supportive and empathetic, not dismissive or sarcastic.

Picture this scenario: Your romantic partner is talking about a stressful situation at work. If they say, “I feel like my boss doesn’t respect my effort,” you could respond, “It sounds like you’re frustrated because you’re putting in so much effort and not getting the recognition you deserve.” This paraphrasing shows you’ve been paying attention and validates their feelings.

5. Show Open and Positive Body Language

Your body language says as much, if not more, than your words. Crossing your arms or looking away can signal distraction or disinterest, even if that’s not your intention. Active listeners use open, positive body language to reinforce their attention.

How to Put This Into Practice:

  • Face the person you’re speaking with and lean in slightly to show engagement.
  • Keep your body relaxed and open—avoid crossing your arms or fidgeting.
  • Mirror the other person’s energy. If they’re sharing something exciting, smile and nod enthusiastically. If it’s serious, respond with calm, supportive body language.

Imagine you’re in class, and a groupmate is explaining an idea for your group project. Instead of sitting back in your chair, turn toward them and nod occasionally while they speak. When you adopt a posture that’s open and focused, you encourage the speaker to feel more comfortable and supported.

6. Put Away Distractions

It’s hard to listen actively when your phone buzzes with notifications, the TV is on in the background, or you’re mentally planning tomorrow’s schedule. Distractions pull your focus away from the speaker and send the message that what they’re saying isn’t your priority.

How to Put This Into Practice:

  • Turn off or silence your phone during important conversations.
  • If you’re in a busy or noisy setting, suggest moving to a quieter location so you can listen more clearly.
  • Practice mindfulness by staying in the moment and redirecting your thoughts when they start to wander.

For instance, if your parent is trying to talk about family plans and you’re tempted to check your phone, put it face down or in another room. This simple action shows them they have your full attention.

7. Practice Empathy

Empathy is what sets active listening apart from simply hearing someone. When you practice empathy, you go beyond understanding the words—they’re saying and try to connect to their feelings. This builds trust and shows the speaker you genuinely care.

How to Put This Into Practice:

  • Put yourself in their shoes and imagine how they’re feeling.
  • Respond with understanding, even if you don’t entirely agree. Try saying, “I can understand why you’d feel that way.”
  • Use nonjudgmental phrases to encourage openness, like, “I’m here to listen” or “That must have been hard.”

If a friend is upset about being left out of plans, empathize with their feelings instead of brushing it off. You might say, “It makes sense that you’d feel hurt. I’d feel the same way if that happened to me.” Empathy turns your listening into a supportive act.

Active listening doesn’t come naturally to everyone, but the good news is that you can develop it with practice. By making small changes—like maintaining eye contact, avoiding interruptions, and asking clarifying questions—you can transform your listening habits and strengthen your relationships. These techniques show the people in your life that their thoughts and feelings matter.