Mansplaining, a term used to describe the act of explaining something in a condescending or unnecessary manner, often to someone (usually a woman) in a way that assumes they know less than they actually do, has been a topic of discussion in recent years. At its core, it’s not just about the act of explaining—it’s about the imbalance of respect and assumption of authority. Though often unintentional, mansplaining can harm relationships, create discomfort, and undermine communication.

For men who want to be more respectful and equitable in their conversations, learning how to avoid mansplaining is key. It’s not just about avoiding a label; it’s about being genuine, inclusive interactions where everyone feels heard and valued. Here’s a guide to recognizing and preventing mansplaining, along with practical strategies to improve communication.

Why Avoiding Mansplaining Matters

Mansplaining doesn’t occur in a vacuum—it’s tied to broader social dynamics around gender and power. When someone mansplains, they may unintentionally dismiss the other person's expertise, experience, or perspective. This can:

  • Create Frustration: It’s frustrating to feel talked down to or dismissed, especially if you’re knowledgeable about the topic at hand.
  • Erode Relationships: Patronizing communication can damage trust and mutual respect, key ingredients in any relationship.
  • Reinforce Inequities: Mansplaining perpetuates the idea that some voices matter less than others, which is harmful to workplace equality and personal growth.

Choosing respectful communication isn’t just about avoiding offense—it’s about creating space for richer, more balanced, and meaningful interactions.

Tips to Recognize and Prevent Mansplaining

Mansplaining doesn’t always come from a place of malice. Often, it stems from a lack of awareness. The first step to avoiding it is recognizing when it might be happening, followed by adopting strategies for more equitable communication.

1. Understand What Mansplaining Looks Like

To avoid mansplaining, you need to know how to identify it. Mansplaining can take many forms, such as unnecessarily explaining simple concepts, interrupting someone to correct them needlessly, or explaining something to someone who clearly has more expertise than you.

Example of Mansplaining:

  • Explaining how email works to someone who works in IT.
  • Interrupting a woman during a presentation to restate something she has already explained.

Ask yourself:

  • Does this person already know what I’m about to explain?
  • Am I assuming they lack knowledge because of their gender?

2. Practice Active Listening

Listening is the foundation of respectful communication. Instead of preparing what you’ll say next while the other person talks, focus entirely on their words and meaning.

How to Practice Active Listening:

  • Pause Before Responding: After the other person finishes speaking, take a moment to process their words instead of rushing to reply.
  • Ask Clarifying Questions: Instead of assuming you understand what someone means, ask questions like, “Can you tell me more about that?” or “How do you see this playing out?”
  • Paraphrase Back: Summarize their point in your own words to show you’re listening. For example, “It sounds like you’re saying…”

By listening thoughtfully, you’re less likely to interrupt or impose unnecessary explanations.

3. Check Your Intentions Before Speaking

Before you jump into explaining something, pause and ask yourself:

  • Why am I saying this? Are you trying to offer value, or are you simply trying to showcase your knowledge or assert dominance in the conversation?
  • Is it needed? Does the other person genuinely need this explanation, or are they already well-versed in the topic?
  • Am I assuming too much? Be honest about whether you're making assumptions about the other person's knowledge or experience.

Example:

If a coworker says, “I’ve been researching market analysis strategies,” resist the urge to launch into an explanation about what market analysis is, unless they’ve specifically asked for guidance or seem unsure. Instead, show curiosity. Ask, “What strategies have you found most interesting so far?”

4. Be Mindful of Non-Verbal Cues

Communication isn’t just about words—it’s about body language and tone. You might be unintentionally conveying condescension through your posture, expressions, or tone of voice.

Non-Verbal Cues to Avoid:

  • Overly Animated Gestures: Pointing or exaggerated movements can feel patronizing.
  • Talking Louder or Slower: Unless asked, this can come across as if you think the other person can’t follow the conversation.
  • Dismissive Gestures: Rolling your eyes, sighing, or smirking signals disrespect.

Instead, use open and inclusive body language. Maintain comfortable eye contact, nod to show you’re engaged, and keep your tone even and warm.

5. Ask Questions Instead of Explaining

Rather than assuming someone needs an explanation, approach conversations with curiosity. Asking questions not only keeps the exchange balanced, but it also lets the other person share their expertise or perspective.

Examples of Inclusive Questioning:

  • “What’s your take on this topic?”
  • “Have you had experience with this situation before? I’d love to hear about it.”
  • “What would you suggest in this scenario?”

Questions invite collaboration and demonstrate respect, turning the conversation into a two-way exchange rather than a one-sided lecture.

6. Be Okay with Not Knowing Everything

Some men mansplain because they feel pressured to appear knowledgeable or “in charge.” However, it’s perfectly okay to admit when you don’t know something or to share space in a conversation.

What to Say Instead of Overexplaining:

  • “I’m not sure about that—what do you think?”
  • “I’d love to hear your perspective; I don’t know the topic as well.”

Admitting gaps in your knowledge doesn’t make you less competent—it opens the door for learning and collaboration.

7. Reflect on Past Conversations

Self-awareness takes practice. After a conversation, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself:

  • Did I interrupt unnecessarily or talk over someone?
  • Did I assume the other person needed me to explain something?
  • Did I actively listen, or did I dominate the conversation?

If you realize you might have mansplained, don’t be afraid to apologize. A simple, “I think I overexplained earlier—sorry about that,” can go a long way toward building trust and respect.

8. Understand the Broader Context

Recognize that mansplaining isn’t just about individual interactions—it’s tied to societal patterns where women’s voices are undervalued or dismissed. Endeavor to be part of the solution by supporting those around you, especially women in group settings, to ensure their ideas are heard and respected.

How to Support Equitable Communication:

  • Amplify someone else’s point during meetings by saying, “I agree with her suggestion about…” rather than reframing it as your own.
  • If you notice someone being interrupted, step in with, “I’d like to hear her finish her thought.”

9. Seek Feedback from Trusted Sources

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you might slip into old habits. Invite feedback from people you trust to call you out when needed. For example, you could say, “I want to make sure I’m not talking over anyone or coming across as patronizing—please feel free to point it out if I do.”

This demonstrates humility and a genuine commitment to improvement.

Building Respectful, Inclusive Communication

Avoiding mansplaining is about more than just avoiding a label. It’s about creating equitable, supportive, and meaningful conversations where everyone feels valued. By practicing active listening, checking your assumptions, and fostering curiosity, you can build better connections and contribute to a culture where all voices are respected.

Remember, communication isn’t a competition—it’s about learning, sharing, and growing together. By showing up with empathy, humility, and self-awareness, you can avoid mansplaining and become a more thoughtful and inclusive conversationalist.